First Ever Day of School

How can I have a preschooler already?  I mean the signs are all there--he's potty trained, counting, identifying letters and shapes, asking "why" every other question, wanting to play with his friends every day, and learning to manipulate his parents! 

When I put "first day of school" of the calendar for the first time in our house this year it brought such nostalgia reminding me of all the "first days" I had and how excited I always was to return to school.  The trips to the over-crowded school supply aisles at Wal Mart with my dad, the anticipation of going up to the school to see who my teacher was and who my classmates would be, and shopping for a new school wardrobe with my mom at Uptons and Marshalls :)  On one hand I am so excited for Hank to head out into the world on his own and start creating a place in the world outside of our home, on the other hand I miss him terribly on the two mornings a week he is gone and I feel like a part of myself is missing.  The house is so quiet, and even Lucy seems distressed when she can't locate her brother running amuck.  

The first day of school has been a highly anticipated day in our ouse since we had to register him way back in January.  I got teary eyed just thinking about it over the past few months, and pushed the idea out of my mind.  Although, I knew my hard headed little man needed some preparation to adjust to the idea so we went out and bought a backpack and a lunchbox, we drove by his school  frequently to "get excited".  

The first day arrived, and he was so excited!  I was actually a little shocked as he is generally very resistant to change and I assumed we would have some difficulty with the big life change.  Well, that excitement wore off and we had a rough 3 weeks with lots of crying/anxiety surrounding school days despite the fact that his teachers told me that he did great and he came home everyday chatting up a storm about his new friends and the day's activities.  Hank has been home with a nanny since he was born, so this was a huge change for him to be dropped off somewhere.    Like his father, Hank is always thinking, I can see the wheels turning all the time, but he internalizes everything like his dad.  So, ole mom never really knows what's going on in those heads, but I can be sure there is a lot being processed all the time-I could see his little head in overdrive trying to wrap his head around school, but he said very little to me about it. 

 After 3 weeks of screaming at drop off, constantly telling me "i don't like school", and generally a lot of anxiety for me, he just woke up one morning and said "I like to go to school, but I just miss you, and dad, and Baby Lucy".  That's my little man!  After we talked about it, he just flipped a switch and since then-school is great!  and mom is soooo relieved as I didn't think I could survive a whole year of whining/crying on Tues/Thurs mornings.  

So school is great-I'm still not used to the idea, but on the outside I'm very happy for Hank.  The first week a good friend of mine who also has a little one starting school for the first time this year sent me an email and said to me  "Here's to our children growing up and learning to fly with their own wings. It won't ever be easy, but we can do it because we love them enough to let them" ...ain't that the truth?